it has been awhile ...
i am adjusting to this new life
and to be honest some days i feel like this is exactly what i need
or deserve ...
a admit one ticket to the 4th floor... the mental ward
but everyday ... i discover more about me
more about my limits...
more about digging deeper than i ever thought i could go ...
more about my relationships with friends and with family
everyday i learn more about this man whom i love
i have discovered just how much he carries for this family ...
i discover just how much light he brings to us ...
how everyday at 5pm the kids and i both feel this heartache
knowing he is not going to be walking through that door ...
at least not today
...for when i am weak, HE is strong
my intentions were not to turn this into a blog about deployment
or a blog about my personal life
right now ... it is hard to focus on much else
my thoughts ... my heart ... my days
they are consumed
completely consumed with what can i do today to make
the kids not focus on their dad being gone ...
what can i do today to keep my mind busy so i ...
do not focus on him being gone
and we continue on ...
on HIS solid ground ... his own words
the ones that say ...
TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT
ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING
BUT IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM
AND I WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.
yes ... we continue on
one day at a time we continue on