Admit one ...

it has been awhile ...

i am adjusting to this new life

and to be honest some days i feel like this is exactly what i need

or deserve ...

a admit one ticket to the 4th floor... the mental ward

but everyday ... i discover more about me

more about my limits...

more about digging deeper than i ever thought i could go  ...

more about my relationships with friends and with family

and

 everyday i learn more about this man whom i love

i have discovered just how much he carries for this family ...

i discover just how much light he brings to us ...

how everyday at 5pm the kids and i both feel this heartache

knowing he is not going to be walking through that door ...

at least not today

...for when i am weak, HE is strong

my intentions were not to turn this into a blog about deployment

or a blog about my personal life

and yet

right now ... it is hard to focus on much else

my thoughts ... my heart ... my days

they are consumed

completely consumed with what can i do today to make

the kids not focus on their dad being gone ...

what can i do today to keep my mind busy so i ...

do not focus on him being gone

and we continue on ...

TRUSTING

OBEYING

STANDING FIRM

on HIS solid ground ... his own words

the ones that say ...

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT

ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING

BUT IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM

AND I WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.

Proverbs 3:5-6

yes ... we continue on

one day at a time we continue on

xo

 ...